


Metal, memes, and morons

by lennstarrs



Category: Sally Face (Video Games)
Genre: AU where henry and lisa dont get married, Chapter 4 doesn't exist in this house, Chatting & Messaging, F/M, M/M, probably modern au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-19 15:17:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17004111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lennstarrs/pseuds/lennstarrs
Summary: messy groupchat between the squad





	1. Larry_Face has created a chat

**Author's Note:**

> Salpal/bitch_ass_traitor: Sal  
> Larry_Face: Larry  
> Goth_Gf: Ash  
> Todd/Computer_Fucker: Todd  
> Distinguished_Gay: Neil  
> fitthiswholepizzainmymouth: Chug  
> Canada: Maple

* **Larry_Face** has created a chat*

* **Larry_Face** has added **Salpal, Todd, Goth_Gf, Canada, fitthiswholepizzainmymouth, and Distinguished_Gay** * 

* **Larry_Face** has changed the chat name to **The Squad(™)** * 

Larry_Face: sup fuckers

* **Larry_Face** has given **Salpal** admin controls*

Goth_Gf: that is too much power for one tiny person to hold

Goth_Gf: what are you thinking

Salpal: I am your god. Bow to me 

Larry_Face: chaotic neutral

Todd: wtf. We’re in the same room. We don’t need a chat. Just talk 

Larry_Face: ew socializing 

Goth_Gf: no u

Salpal: that’s gay,Todd. Go kiss ur bf or something

Distinguished_Gay: thanks 

* **Salpal** has added **Balognaday** to the **The Squad (™)** *

Larry_Face: wtf why. No. stinky man. Bad. get out. I’m gonna remove ur admin abilities if u don’t explain urself Salvador

Salpal: perish.

* **Salpal** has removed **Larry_Face** ’s admin controls*

Larry_Face: wtf no. that’s not how this was supposed to go

Goth_Gf: that was the most tragic thing I’ve ever witnessed

Todd: Can we get a F in the chat fellas? 

Distinguished_Gay: F

Goth_Gf: f

fitthiswholepizzainmymouth: f

Canada: wtf. Also F 

Bolognaday: even I thought that was the most brutal thing ever

Bolognaday: sally face let me leave this fucking chat

Salpal: you can never leave

Larry_Face: wtf why are u being so ominus today 

Goth_Gf: yeah what’s up your ass today Sal?

Todd: He can’t say because it might scare Travis

Goth_Gf: omg 

Bolognaday: It won’t let me out

Larry_Face: wtf sal did u hack this? It won’t let me kick travis out

Salpal: He can never leave 

Larry_Face: i will steal ur phone if i have to

Larry_Face: i have ur apartment key 

Larry_Face: i can be ominous too

Larry_Face: I will if i jkhfkjngjlnsjlngjf

Larry_Face: Larry is no more. Only Sal remains. 

Todd: for Maple and Chug and Neil: Sal just tackled Larry to the ground and took his phone

Goth_Gf: oh my fuckin god, he fuckin dead 

fitthiswholepizzainmymouth: i know i heard the thud

Salpal: two can play at this game sAJBJHFGJHGHJBHH

Goth_Gf: oh my fuckin god, he fuckin dead times 2

Larry_Face: Oh hey, my names larry johnson hurghshgdhdhdjfj weedbong am i right? fgdgfGFVHGFJHH

Canada: are you guys just letting this happen @Todd and @Goth_Gf

Goth_Gf: I mean…..yeah 

Canada: cool. take pics for me.

Goth_Gf: np 

* **Salpal** has given **Larry_Face** admin controls*

* **Larry_Face** has removed **Salpal** from **The Squad(™)** * 

Larry_Face: The evil has been banished 

Todd: he’ll be back

Goth_Gf: do you know something we don’t Todd?

Todd: ;) 

Larry_Face: u kno what. Just for that imma do this 

* **Larry_Face** has changed **Todd** ’s username to **Computer_Fucker** *

* **Computer_Fucker** can no longer change their username*

* **Larry_Face** has added **Salpal** to **The Squad(™)** *

* **Larry_Face** has changed **Salpal** ’s username to **bitch_ass_traitor** *

* **bitch_ass_traitor** can no longer change their username*

bitch_ass_traitor: thx 

* **Larry_Face** has changed the chat name to **Gay Fuckers** *

Larry_Face: fuk u 

Bolognaday: is this what you guys do all the time because i think i hate you all more now

Goth_Gf: yep. Hate u too btw 

Bolognaday: thanks for the clarification

bitch_ass_traitor: Travis I told you to stop being rude

Bolognaday: shut up bitch ass traitor

Goth_Gf: it’s Travis. He’s always rude. 

bitch_ass_traitor: i have my ways

Larry_Face: literally why are u being so ominous sally face

bitch_ass_traitor: don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to

Computer_Fucker: He’s fucking with you guys

bitch_ass_traitor: Todd you RAT

Goth_Gf: Top 10 Anime Betrayals 

* **Larry_Face** has sent a picture* 

Larry_Face: He’s in prison for betraying me 

Goth_Gf: nOOOOOOo

Larry_Face: Greasy prisoner man 

Bolognaday: don’t be so dramatic Ashley just kick the basket off of him

* **Larry_Face** has kicked **Bolognaday** from the chat*

Goth_Gf: I need to find proof that he’s innocent

Canada: he isn’t 

*Goth_Gf has sent a picture*

Goth_Gf: It was all Todd’s idea. That’s proof.

Computer_Fucker: lies. i helped him hack the chat though

Goth_Gf: hA HA SO YOU ADMIT IT 

Canada: let the man speak for himself

Canada: Larry give sal his phone for a second

bitch_ass_traitor: i had to ,,,,,for the greater good 

Larry_Face: wRONG ANSWER

Goth_Gf: I’m too late. Larry just threw Sal’s phone onto his bed and is now poking his sides

Goth_Gf: Todd is wheezing on the floor

Canada: what in the holy fuck 

Canada: are they okay

Goth_Gf: I think todd is hyperventilating 

* **Computer_Fucker** has sent a picture* 

Computer_Fucker: I’m going to die 

Distinguished_Gay: your face is so red that i actually believe that

Goth_Gf: sal is suffering I’m pretty sure

Larry_Face: Time of death is 6:33 PM

fitthiswholepizzainmymouth: i don’t know what’s going on and at this point I’m too afraid to ask

fitthiswholepizzainmymouth: f

Larry_Face: chug if i give u money will u buy us food for the funeral

Distinguished_Gay: you killed him but you’re hosting his funeral???

fitthiswholepizzainmymouth: ya lol ill do that

Larry_Face: Duh Neil. He’s my boyfriend 

Distingushed_Gay: Seems legit 

bitch_ass_traitor: i came back from the dead to say fuck u Larry Face 

Goth_Gf: critical hit

bitch_ass_traitor: fuck u too ash for letting it happen

Computer_Fucker: th..

Computer_Fucker: they’re crying…


	2. Chapter 2

Larry_Face: sal fisher is officially Dead To Me

Goth_Gf: I second this!!!!!!!!!

bitch_ass_traitor: guys im crying in the club rn

Canada: cheer up and raise your head up high sal ur gucci cowboy hat is falling

bitch_ass_traitor: bouta marry Maple up in here

bitch_ass_tratior: i deserve gucci only

Larry_Face: ur cowboy hat is ratty and old

bitch_ass_traitor: literally why must u hurt me in this way larry

Goth_Gf: u deserve it 

bitch_ass_traitor: what have i EVER done to u guys

Goth_Gf: *looks into the camera like i’m in the office*

bitch_ass_traitor: those are bold words for someone who refuses to watch the office with Larry and i 

Goth_Gf: shhhhhhhh

Computer_Fucker: guys this is a nice talk and all but it’s 2:34 A.M. 

Distinguished_Gay: stfu it’s the ass crack of dawn 

bitch_ass_traitor: i haven’t slept in 5 years

Computer_Fucker: I’m fucking well aware of that.

Goth_Gf: HEY! Don’t roast my bf like that. Only me n larry can >:3c

Canada: hey im his wife now 

Larry_Fucker: nah fam

bitch_ass_traitor: maple just rlly came in here and snatched me away from yall 

Larry_Face: damn..#foreveralone

Distinguished_Gay: wig snatched

Computer_Fucker: I love you but never ever say that again

Larry_Face: shooketh

bitch_ass_traitor: im shaking in me gucci cowboy boots rn

Goth_Gf: fuKINNNNNNNN

Larry_Face: ooOOoOh mY goOOd

Computer_Fucker: please…...please end this….i just want to sleep 

bitch_ass_traitor: just mute us 

Computer_Fucker: GO TO SLEEP

Computer_Fucker: I’m going to smother you with a pillow

Distinguished_Gay: huh, i didn’t take you as the type to commit murder

Computer_Fucker: I’m considering it

bitch_ass_traitor: im a bad bitch you can’t kill me

Larry_Face: i just heard the elevator ding Sal lock ur doors

bitch_ass_traitor: wait no todd please I’m indecent

Computer_Fucker: I sincerely hope you mean you don’t have your mask on

bitch_ass_traitor: yeahhhhhhhhhhh

Computer_Fucker: oh my god.

Larry_Face: mission failed we’ll get em next time 

Canada: that has terrible implications 

Larry_Face: shut up boyfriend stealer

Goth_Gf: yeah!

bitch_ass_traitor: my dad is up and I can hear him and Todd talking

bitch_ass_tratior: i have NEVER put on clothes so fast in my life

bitch_ass_tratior: NEVER I swear

Canada: that’s what ur worried about here??? 

Canada: ur acting as if he’s totally not gonna smother u as soon as he gets done talking

Distinguished_Gay: I have risen from the dead to say, Todd you should not Do That Thing

Computer_Fucker: okay

bitch_ass_traitor: whipped

Computer_Fucker: I’m going to rearrange your bones.

Distinguished_Gay: Todd omg

bitch_ass_traitor: if I die tell ash and Larry I love them

Distinguished_Gay: aw that’s so nice todd don’t kill him!!!

Computer_Fucker: okay I won’t but only because I thought that was sweet AND TOTALLY NOT BECAUSE NEIL TOLD ME TO

bitch_ass_traitor: lmfao ok whipped

Goth_Gf: sal… please…. for the love of god…

Goth_Gf: shut the fuck up for one minute

bitch_ass_traitor: okey 

Computer_Fucker: and you say I’M whipped. 

bitch_ass_traitor: u r 

* **Larry_Face** has changed **bitch_ass_traitor** ’s username to **Sassy_Face** *

Sassy_Face: thx 

Larry_Face: np B 

* **Larry_Face** has changed **Computer_Fucker** ’s username to **whipped** *

whipped: fuck you 

Larry_Face: nah. I’m good. 

Distinguished_Gay: oof

whipped: please for the love of god stop using those phrases it’s scaring me

Distingished_Gay: Fam Squad 

Distinguished_Gay: I can be hip

Sassy_Face: you sound like a grandma talking to her grandchildren

Distingushed_Gay: radical 

whipped: babe please no. no one has said that since the 80’s. 

Distinguished_Gay: that wasn’t very cash money of you Todd

whipped: WHO HAVE YOU BEEN HANGING OUT WITH

Goth_Gf: me...we literally have a class together Todd..we sit next to each other...how do you not remember this

whipped: you’re such a bad influence 

Goth_Gf: radical 

Distingushed_Gay: radical 

Larry_Face: radical!!!!!

Sassy_Face: Radical

whipped: I’m not above murder right now

Distinguished_Gay: you wouldn’t kill me

whipped: If not for the love in my heart I would have slaughtered you 

Distingushed_Gay: uwu 

whipped: i’m gonna kill you then myself

Distinguished_Gay: romantic

whipped: You need to stop reading those romance novels.

Goth_Gf: now you two are the only ones talking it’s 3 am!!!

Sassy_Face: i wanna cuddle w my bf n gf please shut the fuck up thanks 

Distinguished_Gay: ash has been there the whole time????

Larry_Face: Yeah with me

Larry_Face: sal was too lazy to come downstairs >:(

Sassy_Face: liar!! 

Goth_Gf: guys i swear to god i’m gonna leave if u dont shut up 

Sassy_Face: I’m trying to find my keycard shush 

Larry_Face: why the fuck did you lose it

Larry_Face: you never lose it

Sassy_Face: i think gizmo took it

Goth_Gf: s u r e.. Gizmo took it…..

Sassy_Face: ...have u met gizmo…

Goth_Gf: totally not implying that i might’ve taken it….bc no one will give me one

Sassy_Face: you never asked!!!!!!!

Goth_Gf: you didn’t have to!!!!

Sassy_Face: Lisa loves me

Larry_Face: i can just get one 

Goth_Gf: i’ll get Sal if u give me one owo

Sassy_Face: i didn’t ask for this I just wanna sleep

Sassy_Face: i haven’t slept in two days

Goth_Gf: if I had known I wouldn’t have taken your card I’m sorry Sal

Sassy_Face: please shut up both of you and hug me im touch starved

Larry_Face: I’m on my way up

whipped: Go to sleep assholes!!!!!!!


End file.
